Friday, November 05, 2010

My Son Loves Tacos

Do you remember when you started using deodorant? Personally I don't remember but I know when kids SHOULD start and that is somewhere around 10 years old or the 4th grade (whichever comes first). Let me explain.

One summer day, like any other hot, muggy Florida summer day our twins (boy / girl) came home from school. The bus drops them off right in our driveway so walk is a short one.

Always the gentleman my son lets his sister walk in first and then he closes the door behind the two of them. My wife was in the kitchen when they came in and she asked how their day was. Emily had the usual to report - some boy pulled her hair or otherwise flirted - apparently being beautiful is a curse she must live with :) Our son on the other hand had great news to report.

Wife: "So how was your day Derek?"
Derek: "It was great!"

Wife: "Wow, you're in a good mood."
Derek: "I am - guess what!"

Wife: "What?"
Derek: "My underarms smell sooo good - they smell like tacos! I can't stop doing this."

At this time he proceeds to cup his hand under his arm, stick his nose inside this hand made cup, and then inhales like it is his first breath from the womb.

Wife: "That's gross, you need deodorant."
Derek: "What? Noooooo....I love tacos, here - you smell!"

At this point he tries to get close to her so she can take a hit from his cupped hand.

That's about the time my office phone rings and I'm advised of the situation. I stop by the grocery store and get him is own personal Axe deodorant and a can of their body spray.

When I got home I briefly explained the proper use of his new tools and sent him into the bathroom to washup, put on deodorant and the optional body spray. He passed the deodorant test, the body spray turned out to be a bit too advanced.

Naturally like any child does, he made it my fault that the body spray experiment was a failure. IT seems that I failed to mention two things, 1 - it will burn your eyes and 2 - if the bathroom looks like a fog machine has been turned on, you used too much.

He's in the 5th grade now and smells great. Now if I can only get him to understand that his breath should smell better than the dog's we'd be OK.

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